I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
