Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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