my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
