Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
