I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
