You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
