***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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