if i can run in heels then i can drive
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
