who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
