So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
