I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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