I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
