why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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