who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
