How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I looked at my own cervix.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
