so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize