i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
high people should be assigned attendants
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
