we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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