Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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