is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
