It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
