You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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