He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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