If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
