Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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