For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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