What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
