I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
