based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
