Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
