quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
