im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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