Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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