im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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