i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
