i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do vagina's smell?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
