On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
