The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
