Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
