My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
