I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do herpes really smell.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
