i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I enjoy the company of your penis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
