It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
