I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
