How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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