My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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