We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
