Don't make out with my wife yet
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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