i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
