glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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