hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
