If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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