Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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