His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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