Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
