Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
