I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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